Counselling Ballarat

The Depth Of Acceptance

Hmm, this elicits mind-diving on my behalf.

If an individual struggles to accept others, although desires it from others so strongly, what is preventing them from stepping into the ‘others’ shoes for a moment to better understand their perspective. Are they so intent on seeking acceptance that they ‘forget’ that the other person wants to be accepted too, and therefor feel the others perspective is invalid, negative or a ‘put-down’?

(what the hell are you talking about? give an example so others may have a better understanding of what you mean)

For example.

Person A desires that everyone accept them the way they are, however, has issues with their weight and the way they look. Person A often has feelings of ‘anxiety’ about their body. Person A meets Person B for the first time. Nothing is known about Person B, how they feel or what is going on in their mind and life. They have never met and have certainly never spoken to each other before. The conversation started off pleasant, however there is a lengthy pause before Person B asks if Person A is pregnant. Person A is not and instantly has those feelings related to their anxiety and feelings of anger and frustration flow through them. The brief meeting ends and they go their separate ways.

(really… That’s your example)

I’m curious.

Is person A’s perspective that Person B was being rude because of asking that question?

Is person B being rude?

Does it change anything if Person B has feelings related to their perspective of anxiety and they feel that the pause in discussion needs to be filled?

What if Person B’s mind is racing and they are thinking things like –

  • Are they pregnant?
  • What if they are and I don’t say anything?
  • What will they think of me if I don’t ask?
  • What if they aren’t pregnant and I upset them?
  • What should I do?
  • This silence is difficult for me to handle…
  • Just say something.
  • They are standing there looking at me.
  • Speak damn it.

Does this change anything?

Or is it simply that it is difficult to accept others if you don’t accept yourself first?

Disclaimer: This is not necessarily the view of the author and is designed specifically to invoke thought and reflection.


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